Paradise of the Blind #6 ~ Guaranteed Future, Sealed Past

   "... think about rejoining the ranks of the proletariat. It's a guaranteed future..." My brother announced his thoughts bravely, strictly, decisively, and demandingly once again. He had once more made decisions for me, before asking me. He saw these suggestions ask 'tasks'. He saw family as a 'duty'. His cold blooded and inconsiderate personality were products of these ideologies.
   Although I try to stay close to our traditions and family values, Chinh coerces me to stop caring about family with his callous remark about my life. He does not realise anything or anyone but himself. But it is my fault that he is so self centred. When mother and father died, I should have raised him to become a helpful citizen. If I had not neglected my duties, maybe he would not be so obsessed as he is now. Then maybe my life would have been much simpler. But it is too late to live with regrets. When you are in a state in which the only action you can take is towards the future, taking a second to look back can make you miss your train for a beautiful destination.

   Sometimes, I create buds of hope within me. Maybe some day, somehow, they will become flowers with myriad hues of colours. No matter how many of the flowers will be able to host ephemeral butterflies, I like to continue on hoping that life, at least Hang's life, can and will be prettier. No matter who or what comes in the way of it, no matter how many trains I miss because of my undeniable past and family relationships.